Multimodal Essay

Whitney Daugherty

10/31/11

Professor Lutz

Multimodal Essay

History

         There was a lockout in 1998-99, which was the third lockout in history. The NBA lockout came out for the exact same reason the NBA lockout is going on right now. The owners want to lower the players salaries and the players aren't having it. In 1998 57% of income was to pay players, it's kind of ironic because as we speak we are in a NBA lockout and that is the exact percent players are paid. Therefore they shouldn't go over that amount anymore because they find themselves in debt. What they need to do to meet in the middle is split it 50% goes to players, 50% goes to owners, like the NFL when they had their lockout they met an agreement and now they are set in stone and rolling.The NBA lockout was eventually over because the players came to a reasonable amount then as years progressed the players kept asking for more and now here we see ourselves in the same spot 11 years later.

The author of this picture is Wright or Flight and 

was found at writeorflight.wordpress.com

             The NBA lockout is a hot topic and has many players and fans upset and very aggravated. Some people go out to say that the lockout is fully on the players. They say that because the players earn 57% of NBA revenue. Therefore concluding that the players are being too stingy and expect to get paid $70 million a year which is pretty ridiculous. A huge reason they want to reduce the players’ share of revenue and place a cap on how much each team can pay players is because last season they lost $300 million per year over the last several years. NBA players receive 57% and they are only willing to go down 2.7% to 54.3%, which isn’t enough. Now this is the controversy and that’s why there is a lockout because they can’t find a happy medium. The owners are in this 100% because they are paid by management. They say that two of the main players that aren’t helping the cause is LeBron James and Kobe Bryant, which as most of us know these are two of the top players in the NBA. The owners and players have to come together and meet a collective bargaining plan so the NBA will not go further into debt. In the video below Adam Silver explains what is going on during the NBA lockout during a Press Conference. He explains that he is disappointed because the players modified a proposal of salaries of roughly $5 million per player or $6.5 million per player in year five or add an additional year to close to $7 million per year for over six years if they accepted the proposal of $5 million per player. Committee Chairman Peter Holt said it was unexceptable and they couldn't operate under this proposal. 

                                              

                           

Rookies vs. Lockout

            A huge controversy is between the rookies and how they’re being affected by the lockout. These rookies are the ones who are going to be hit the hardest and the fastest, because they are coming in and they haven’t had any income or an egg to sit on while waiting to see what’s going to happen with the lockout. The highest sort of income that they will be receiving is loans set up by their agents. As one prominent agent tells SN, "It's a lot riskier than a lot of the players think. There are guys who you will want to get a spot on a team there because they're young and they need the money and they need to play and gain experience. But not the top guys" (Agent 55). They are talking about all the anxiety built up in the younger players and the other top players going overseas to play while all the rookies are hanging around to try to catch up and shoot while working out and staying in great shape. Also at the same time the rookies are kind of in shock thinking how this could happen to be me. As rookie player Derrick Williams says "It's not the way you would have envisioned coming into the league when you start playing it all through in your mind" (Willams 55). This backs my opinion up, the players are surprised and kind of in distraught that they have to wait to get there NBA nation started. This leads to why some top players are going overseas to play so they can at least be playing real games rather than practice and lifting. Rookies vs. the lockout aren’t the only controversies there are many more that lead to one another.

Players vs. Owners

            Basically the lockout is a controversy between the owners and players. The owners believe they’ll win the battle, and of course the players believe they’ll win. They need to eventually meet a new collective bargaining agreement because they can’t afford to pay the players $5.8 million a year to play basketball. The owners want a 10-year pact that will eventually cut the players pay to $4.2 million a year from $5.8 million a year, which sounds more reasonable. They will be moving the revenue from 57% to 48%. This is crazy, it means the players will get a $700 million pay cut. This sounds like bogus but if you go down and look at each step it isn’t. They can either get further in debt as a NBA nation or meet an agreement, and they’re still getting lots of money coming in. They say that the owners will eventually get what they want. One, because they can’t afford it and they’re having to sell it for depressing prices. And two, because almost half the players ask for advances on their pay checks, for bogus reasons. The top reason is because their having to pay child support on a child to which they aren’t married to the mother. Also NBA commissioner David Stern has the owners back. In my opinion the players are looking like they should buck up and take $4.2 million or they need to move on.

Star Player Dwayne Wade’s Point of View

The players are having a hard time coping with the lockout, and some have hard feelings toward the owners. An example is when star player Dwayne Wade said “we haven't done a great job of complaining. That's what the NBA has done; they've done a great job of complaining. We haven't done a great job of that so no one sees our side” (Wade 1). This is a lot of emotion wrapped up because they aren’t getting their way and their true feelings are coming out. He’s making fun of how the NBA (owners) are complaining to get their way basically. Wade also chipped in that the NBA owners are hurting the fans because he feels like they’re letting them down. He said he and the other players are sick because of this lockout and they can’t believe the actions of the owners. But on the other side Wade said he was going to work his butt off to get better just to show the fans that do still support the NBA proud. Therefore he hasn’t gave up, and he hopes the fans realize this. The players don't want to drop their pay because they feel that their the ones that put on the show but at the same time the players wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the owners. They go hand in hand, it's like a partnership. It is kind of ridiculous this has to happen but at the same time the players need to understand that they are getting paid a lot of money and they need to not be so selfish when the NBA is going down hill. They should lower their pay a couple percent to help the NBA nation out.

NBA lockout vs. Economy

            While the lockout is going on and there are no crowds in the big cities, their losing profit as well and it’s affecting their business in a negative way. For example in Cleveland the restaurant Harry Buffalo counts solely on the NBA crowd, and they might have to find another path to go and some people may lose their jobs because they can’t afford losing the sales from the NBA lockout. This is where it really hits home because the managers have to think about their workers as well. Some may have families and depend on the money for that. It’s a touchy subject and if they don’t figure out what their going to do it may be ugly for a few families. Also in Charlotte they earn lots of money that help them make a living and this is going to kill their sales. Brixx Pizza across the street makes a living off their sales from the NBA games and they have to trim their workers because they can’t afford it. They make an extra $1,000 on game night compared to no game. Not only is it hurting these large cities it’s hurting the ticket sales as well. For each home game they bring in about $83 million in sales on tickets.

NBA lockout vs. Fans

            Fans are a huge role in the NBA nation, and their getting hurt pretty bad during this lockout. But the fans’ being hurt is affecting the NBA as a whole. Seeing this happen and the NBA being so stingy will make the fans not want to come out and support the players and owners. They won’t want to pour money into the organization. Because in the NBA “fans aren’t just customers their investors” (SB Nation). They say this because $1.75 of the $2 billion spent on renovating the arenas is public money. This is when the fans have a one up on the lockout. The fans can control the income of the NBA because they just don’t attend the games the NBA will be playing in the rinky dink arenas, like college arenas because they won’t be able to afford any nicer ones. Their afraid that that casual fan that shows up after football season will show up but the loyal ones might say heck with it because the NBA isn’t showing regard to them. This is definitely true by the NBA not being able to meet in the middle is hurting them worse. The fans will feel like they don’t care about them and it causes hate and they won’t come support them. 

The author of this picture is David Astramsks
and was found at ballislife.com

NBA lockout vs. Players

Many players are fed up with the lockout and want to move to overseas and there are rumors about the NFL. Lebron James was known to be an all-state football player in high school, and his favorite video game is Madden (a NFL game). People may be assuming things but at the same time Lebron has also been contacting head people in the NFL. There has been a rumor that he was going to play for the Eagles. This also goes back on fans; thousands of people come to watch Lebron if he was to move you would have some angry people. Also many players are going overseas to play. Deron Williams, Dominique Watkins, Stephon Marbury and also Dirk Nowitzki which was named NBA’s MVP last season. Many people find this shocking but the players are fed up with not being on the court and will take the easy way and take less money. These top notch players leaving will hurt the NBA’s income. NBA players are also leaving to make a point to the owners. They’re kind of being even more selfish about the situation. On the other hand more it’s sparking a fire and making players like Wade and Bosh to want to work ten times harder. 


In the end of all the controversy the owners have the top of the argument. The players need to realize that they are so lucky to be getting paid as much as they are. The NBA is struggling to pay them, so they should be willing to cut back on their pay. If the players really want to be out there they would do this, and make it easier on everyone else. They also need to realize the owners are in control and they will stay locked out until they meet a collective bargain plan. The owners have that power to do so. 

Work Cited:

Deveney, Sean. "Well, rook, hope you brought your piggy bank." EBSCO host. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 July

     2011. <http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/

     pdfviewer?sid=c0e67b54-39f2-440c-8b16-a53283cfd5cf%40sessionmgr104&vid=4&hid=122>.

Ozanian, Mike. "NBA Owners Will Win Lockout Game Against Players." EBSCO host. N.p., n.d. Web. 29

     June 2011. <http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/

     detail?sid=c0e67b54-39f2-440c-8b16-a53283cfd5cf%40sessionmgr104&vid=4&hid=122&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3Qtb

     Gl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=65394577>. 

Multi Modal Essay

Whitney Daugherty

10/23/11

Professor Lutz

Multi Modal Essay

  The NBA lockout is a hot topic and has many players and fans upset and very aggravated. Some people go out to say that the lockout is fully on the players. They say that because the players earn 57% of NBA revenue. Therefore concluding that the players are being too stingy and expect to get paid $70 million a year which is pretty ridiculous. A huge reason they want to reduce the players’ share of revenue and place a cap on how much each team can pay players is because last season they lost $300 million per year over the last several years. NBA players receive 57% and they are only willing to go down 2.7% to 54.3%, which isn’t enough. Now this is the controversy and that’s why there is a lockout because they can’t find a happy medium. They say that two of the main players that aren’t helping the cause is LeBron James and Kobe Bryant, which as most of us know these are two of the top players in the NBA.

Rookies vs. Lockout

            A huge controversy is between the rookies and how they’re being affected by the lockout. These rookies are the ones who are going to be hit the hardest and the fastest. Because they are coming in and they haven’t had any income or an egg to sit on while waiting to see what’s going to happen with the lockout. The highest sort of income that they will be receiving is loans set up by their agents. As one prominent agent tells SN, "It's a lot riskier than a lot of the players think. There are guys who you will want to get a spot on a team there because they're young and they need the money and they need to play and gain experience. But not the top guys" (Agent 55). They are talking about all the anxiety built up in the younger players and the other top players going overseas to play while all the rookies are hanging around to try to catch up and shoot while working out and staying in great shape. Also at the same time the rookies are kind of in shock thinking how this could happen to be me. As rookie player Derrick Williams says "It's not the way you would have envisioned coming into the league when you start playing it all through in your mind" (Willams 55). This backs my opinion up, the players are surprised and kind of in distraught that they have to wait to get there NBA nation started. This leads to why some top players are going overseas to play so they can at least be playing real games rather than practice and lifting. Rookies vs. the lockout aren’t the only controversies there are many more that lead to one another.

Players vs. Owners

            Basically the lockout is a controversy between the owners and players. The owners believe they’ll win the battle, and of course the players believe they’ll win. They need to eventually meet a new collective bargaining agreement because they can’t afford to pay the players $5.8 million a year to play basketball. The owners want a 10-year pact that will eventually cut the players pay to $4.2 million a year from $5.8 million a year, which sounds more reasonable. They will be moving the revenue from 57% to 48%. This is crazy, it means the players will get a $700 million pay cut. This sounds like bogus but if you go down and look at each step it isn’t. They can either get further in debt as a NBA nation or meet an agreement, and they’re still getting lots of money coming in. They say that the owners will eventually get what they want. One, because they can’t afford it and they’re having to sell it for depressing prices. And two, because almost half the players ask for advances on their pay checks, for bogus reasons. The top reason is because their having to pay child support on a child to which they aren’t married to the mother. Also NBA commissioner David Stern has the owners back. In my opinion the players are looking like they should buck up and take $4.2 million or they need to move on.

Star Player Dwayne Wade’s Point of View

            The players are having a hard time coping with the lockout, and some have hard feelings toward the owners. An example is when star player Dwayne Wade said “we haven't done a great job of complaining. That's what the NBA has done; they've done a great job of complaining. We haven't done a great job of that so no one sees our side” (Wade 1). This is a lot of emotion wrapped up because they aren’t getting their way and their true feelings are coming out. He’s making fun of how the NBA (owners) are complaining to get their way basically. Wade also chipped in that the NBA owners are hurting the fans because he feels like they’re letting them down. He said he and the other players are sick because of this lockout and they can’t believe the actions of the owners. But on the other side Wade said he was going to work his butt off to get better just to show the fans that do still support the NBA proud. Therefore he hasn’t gave up, and he hopes the fans realize this. It is kind of ridiculous this has to happen but at the same time the players need to understand that they are getting paid a lot of money and they need to not be so selfish when the NBA is going down hill. They should lower their pay a couple percent to help the NBA nation out.

NBA lockout vs. Economy

            While the lockout is going on and there are no crowds in the big cities, their losing profit as well and it’s affecting their business in a negative way. For example in Cleveland the restaurant Harry Buffalo counts solely on the NBA crowd, and they might have to find another path to go and some people may lose their jobs because they can’t afford losing the sales from the NBA lockout. This is where it really hits home because the managers have to think about their workers as well. Some may have families and depend on the money for that. It’s a touchy subject and if they don’t figure out what their going to do it may be ugly for a few families. Also in Charlotte they earn lots of money that help them make a living and this is going to kill their sales. Brixx Pizza across the street makes a living off their sales from the NBA games and they have to trim their workers because they can’t afford it. They make an extra $1,000 on game night compared to no game. Not only is it hurting these large cities it’s hurting the ticket sales as well. For each home game they bring in about $83 million in sales on tickets.

NBA lockout vs. Fans

            Fans are a huge role in the NBA nation, and their getting hurt pretty bad during this lockout. But the fans’ being hurt is affecting the NBA as a whole. Seeing this happen and the NBA being so stingy will make the fans not want to come out and support the players and owners. They won’t want to pour money into the organization. Because in the NBA “fans aren’t just customers their investors” (SB Nation). They say this because $1.75 of the $2 billion spent on renovating the arenas is public money. This is when the fans have a one up on the lockout. The fans can control the income of the NBA because they just don’t attend the games the NBA will be playing in the rinky dink arenas, like college arenas because they won’t be able to afford any nicer ones. Their afraid that that casual fan that shows up after football season will show up but the loyal ones might say heck with it because the NBA isn’t showing regard to them. This is definitely true by the NBA not being able to meet in the middle is hurting them worse. The fans will feel like they don’t care about them and it causes hate and they won’t come support them.

NBA lockout vs. Players

Many players are fed up with the lockout and want to move to overseas and there are rumors about the NFL. Lebron James was known to be an all-state football player in high school, and his favorite video game is Madden (a NFL game). People may be assuming things but at the same time Lebron has also been contacting head people in the NFL. There has been a rumor that he was going to play for the Eagles. This also goes back on fans; thousands of people come to watch Lebron if he was to move you would have some angry people. Also many players are going overseas to play. Deron Williams, Dominique Watkins, Stephon Marbury and also Dirk Nowitzki which was named NBA’s MVP last season. Many people find this shocking but the players are fed up with not being on the court and will take the easy way and take less money. These top notch players leaving will hurt the NBA’s income. NBA players are also leaving to make a point to the owners. They’re kind of being even more selfish about the situation. On the other hand more it’s sparking a fire and making players like Wade and Bosh to want to work ten times harder.

Blog #9 Questions

1. Is abortion rates related to income?

2. Would there be fewer abortions if families weren’t on welfare or are there other things causing these abortions too? 

3. What are the reasons for abortions?

4. How many abortions each year?

Blog #2

While reading these couple pages there were many cool topics to write about. One hot spot I found was when Linda was asked what her earliest memories with language were and she replied "I don't remember but I do remember being tortured by cursive writing exercises" (Linda 64). The cool thing about this is that teachers really didn't have to sit there and teach us that much it kind of comes natural to sound out the words and the speed and stuff will come to you with practice. Which is why they assign you reading assignments each night. This was interesting because I was able to relate to it.
My next hot spot was when they are talking about writing literacies when you first enter college, they asked a student names Wendy and she responded "..learning what reading and writing means in one's life" (Wendy 65). This is interesting because I bet if you asked another student their answer would be different. Each student has a different outlook on writing and literacy in college level. I just want to explore the types of literacies I enjoy because that's the only way I will enjoy what i'm writing at the time.
The next hot spot I found was when a student explained how her personal literacy was affected by her mother. She said "I wanted to capture the attention of my mother the way books did" (Janelle 65). The reason she said this was because her mother enjoyed reading and Janelle wanted to feel like her mother was paying attention to her like her mother did to the books. I totally agree with this and it's a great point because this happens in everyday life.
The last hot spot I found was when they were talking about how our personal experiences affected our literacies. Lauren said "writing is a transformative act...we can make crossings into new intellectual and emotional territories" (Lauren66). This is basically saying that we connect our writing with our emotional and personal experiences. In my opinion this way makes it so much easier to write because it goes with the flow and your though.

Blog #15 NBA lockout

Blog article #1
        The topic that I chose to write about it the NBA lockout because basketball is one of my favorite sports and I understand what is kind of going on so it will be fun to write about. Onee blog article I found was an MVP point of view and it was a great article written by the USA Today News cast. They are getting Derrick Rose's point of view to argue what is going on with the lockout and what the players are feeling during this.
      To summarize this article it is basically about how it's not the players fault for the lockout it's the owners faults and that they should realize and take into consideration what the players are saying. Rose says "the lockout is frustrating". The owners are already taking the first two weeks of play away and are threatening to take away the league's showcase christmas day games, which is a huge deal to the fans and players. Rose is arguing that the owners should listen to what the players are saying and don't take away the first two games and maybe shorten some pays.
      This articles appeals to me as a reader in an emotional way because I know how it is to get something you love and have passion for get taken away from you. Also because it's from a players point of view and that usually makes a huge impact on the reader. Rose and the author uses a lot of pathos in his argument. Rose says "We had a great year last year and for us not to have a season this year or taking so long to come up with a deal I think that is wrong" (http://www.usatoday.com/sports/basketball/nba/story/2011-10-15/derrick-rose-nba-lockout/50786472/1). This goes to show how it is impacting these players and how emotional they get about the subject.
      This article is different from any other essays i've read because it has lots of quotes and personal thoughts through out the article. Also it's open form they go back to some thoughts from the first paragraph to the last paragraph. They have good facts and it's short and gets to the point.

Blog article #2
      This blog article is about which teams will benefit the most, least from the lockout? This gets pretty in depth with lots of critical thinking on this topic. The author of this great article is Los Angelas Times. It's a great article that explains why and which teams will benefit the most and least from this lockout.
      The argument of this article is that some great players like the trio over in Miami, Florida they all can opt out of their contracts as of now. Also Dwight Howard over in Orlando will be eligable to opt out of his position in the summer of 2012. The Heat are the least team to benefit from this because they have so many weapons which means money. Also Orlando is in bad shape because of the Howard situation and also the All Star game is supposed to be held in the Amway center in Orlando, they are doing horrible economically and need the money. They can't really afford to wait another year.
      This article appeals to the reader because there are many facts and it shows you how many teams and cities are suffering from this lockout. As Los Angelas Times says "If the game is canceled, Orlando is all but certain to host the game in 2014 — but that's small consolation because Central Florida's economy is slumping badly right now" (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/sports_blog/2011/10/nba-lockout-1.html). This shows that they aren't only looking at the effects on the teams but also the effects on the economy.
     This article is different from any other essays i've read  because all it is is facts it doesn't have a lot of explanation and it just gets to the point.

Blog article #3
      The next blog article I found was on CBS Sports. Which is a great site to find sports events and all the exciting and hot topics going on. This article is about LeBron and going to the NFL or not. This is a hot topic because LeBron is the NBA star and brings lots of money to the organization.
      The argument is the quesion is James going to the NFL or no? The reason people are getting this idea is because he tweeted to ESPN's John Clayton and asked when the final date a player can sign into the NFL draft. Also James is known for playing Madden and was an All-State wide reciever in high school. But he quit playing his senior year and focused on basketball. Also he has been interacting with the Seahawks coach. The coach asked if James knew how much a rookie got paid and James responded "more than I am now". That just goes to show he is considering it.
     This article appeals to me as a reader because it's a huge controversy and I would hate to see LeBron leave the NBA. Also this would hurt the NBA even more as it is now. This article uses a lot of logic because it's going by what they've heard and seen. For example CBS says "  He's known to love playing Madden. He frequently comments on the NFL" (http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/22748484/32705948). This is all logic they are just putting things together and coming to conclusions.
       This blog was different from any essays i've read because no essay is written like this one and essays have a different flow than this blog did. Also there are pictures in this blog.

Blog article #4
      This blog article is written by The Fiscal Times. It's about how much money is at stake just from this lockout. And how this is going to harm other things besides just this organization. It's really a scary thing for us and the players.
       To summarize this argument at my best would be to say the owners and players need to meet an agreement. Because neither of them want their pay lowered. But what's at stake is $4.3 billion. They are having the players miss the first 8 games as of now which is estimated $200 million worth of revenue. Some people say the players are paid too much, which I agree with. But besides the point this isn't only harming the NBA it's harming the enonomy because there are thousands of jobs being lost and money being gone.
      This article appeals to me as scary and emotional because there is a lot at stake during this. Players being lost and money being lost. Also upset fans and players being fed up with this. The Fiscal Times says "
An entire economy, on and off the floor, depends upon them realizing that as soon as possible" (http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/Articles/2011/10/15/NBA-Lockout-More-Than-4-Point-3-Billion-at-Stake.aspx#page1). This is a lot of emotional activity because it's such a sore subject and when you put all this pressure in the air it's a lot of arguing and getting upset.
     This is different from any other essay because each paragraph is labeled and there isn't really an order on what and when they have to say each thing.

Blog #14

While reading these few pages in this chapter I came across Our Commonality which basically explains the reason we all blog and the format we use to do so. They say the reason we all blog is many of reasons one being "to link to your friends and rivals and comment on what they are doing" (Ramange, Bean, Johnson295). I find this interesting because I never really realized the purpose of blogging because I was never familiar with it. But now I see the point of it and I will use it to interact and get my work out there.
Another hot spot I found was the paragraph about Links. It says "links are often hailed as the distinguishing characteristics of a weblog" (Ramage, Bean, Johnson 296). I also haven't really realized this either. I haven't familiarized myself with the blogging system well enough to know a lot about the links and reasons of blogging quite yet. I think this upcoming paper will help me better understand the tricks and turns of blogging, and I will be able to teach others about it.
A third hot spot is The Time Stamp, they say it's a very important part during blogging. It lets the reader know when the blog was posted and when the blog was updated. They say that "if the reader and author are on the page at the same time they experience a moment of shared experience" (Ramage, Bean, Johnson 296). This basically means say someone visits your blog at 4:02 p.m. and they see that you just updated your blog at 3:55 p.m., they were there at the same time. This can create a powerful connection between the reader and blogger.
 A fourth and final hot spot I came across was The Permalink. Which is the link to the permanent location of the post in the blog's archive. They say the permalink "plays a critical role in how authors participate in distributed conversations across weblog's" (Ramage, Bean, Johnson 297). Basically saying it allows for precise references that creates a way for the authors to link to a specific piece of information that they're responded to. This is a big deal in my opinion because it allows the writer to get back to the people that comment quicker and makes for a better blog.

Blog #13

While reading through chapter 5 I came across a hot spot that caught my eye and has to do with something we've talked about before. It's called reading the text with the grain against the grain. When doing this you what Carl Rogers calls "empathetic listening". "When you try to see the world through the authors eye's, role-playing as much as possible" (Bean, Ramage, Johnson 97). This is very helpful tip to take in while reading because it would help a lot to understand the author and see what was going to happen next. While reading grain against grain you also question the text and rebut the authors ideas.
Another hot spot from chapter 5 is a strong response as a reflection. This type of response allows you to connect what you're writing about to your own personal life. In a reflection paper the writer is interested in how the topic has affected you personally. Usually a reflection paper is more open prose and more like an exploratory essay. "One approach might be to build a reflection around a personal conflict in values by exploring how the reading creates a personal delimma" (Rammage, Bean, Johnson 108). This is important because this is basically what they were saying and how you need to connect it with you personally. In my opinion these are the funnest papers to write because it flows and it's your own experiences and there is usually no research involved.


In chapter 9 there were many hot spots as well but the one that got my attention was Using Evidence Effectively. It's about how to use evidence through out your paper in a proper way. You need to find factual data then back it up with an example. "Evidence is not the same as "proof"" (Ramage, Bean, Johnson 214). They are making a good point here because evidence presents the best case for your claim and can come from personal experience. While proof is almost always factual.
Continuing searching for hot spots wasn't hard, the next one I found was one of the most important steps of creating a paper which is shaping and drafting. Once you have explored your ideas, you need to create a plan. There are many important things to keep in mind while doing this but one of the most important ones is to analyze your intended audience" (Ramage, Bean, Johnson 230). This is very important because the way you talk and bring yourself out in your paper will change depending on your intended audience.